


Happiest Place on Earth

by eilu



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Disney World & Disneyland, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 13:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilu/pseuds/eilu
Summary: Julian takes Garak to Disney World.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Future-Disney World just has updated versions of what the current Disney World has. All the high-tech antigravity/teleport/holosuite rides are in Epcot

"Wake up Garak!" Julian yelled, vigorously shaking his partner.

"Julian…" the Cardassian groaned. He glanced at the chronometer. It was too-damn-early hours. "Unless this hotel is on fire, don't wake me until the sun is up!" he barked, turning to bury his head under a pillow.

"Garak, Garak, we have to be early today!"

"Ugh, Julian, we're on _vacation_  why can't I just sleep in?"

"Because we didn't travel to Earth just so you can 'sleep in.' C'mon, these tickets were hard to get." Julian wheedled, tugging at Garak's nightshirt.

"Okay, okay, I'm up." Garak groaned in defeat, groggily making his way to the bathroom. His doctor had been so excited about this trip. The logistics alone had been a nightmare– it had taken them almost a year before they managed to find a schedule that worked for both of them, and then arrange for transport and lodging. Still, seeing his partner so happy had been worth it.

\---

"This place is ridiculous." Garak hissed as they walked down the theme park. The colors were garish, the music saccharine sweet, plus the _smells,_  so many scents piped all over the place. The various plants had also been clipped into fantastical designs that offended the gardener in him. It was all grating on his nerves.

"Oh come on dear, it's _fun_ " Julian replied with a grin and a pat on Garak's bottom.

"Why is that person dressed as a giant rodent? I thought rodents were pests?"

"Oh, oh, that's Mickey Mouse! You found Mickey!! We _have_  to get a holo with him! Quick! Quick!" Bashir suddenly grabbed Garak by the arm and made a run for it. After some pushing and queueing, the Cardassian found himself dutifully smiling for a holo with his partner hugging a giant grinning mouse.

\---

"I swear if I hear that 'It's a Small Space After All' song one more time I'm going to kill someone."

"Come on Garak, I thought it was sweet. They even added cute little Cardassians and Bajorans to the ride."

"Neither of which are part of the Federation."

"It's not about the Federation, it's about everyone getting along."

"More of your human oversimplification."

"It's for _children,_  Garak!"

"So why are we here?"

"Because it's fun!"

"So you keep saying my dear, but I have yet to have any actual fun."

"You seem to be enjoying criticizing everything"

"My dear, I could have enjoyed criticizing everything from the comfort of the hotel. With a free drink on hand."

\---

"Why is all the food shaped like that smiling mouse? Seems a trifle unhygienic to me."

"Unhygienic?"

"You're feeding your children food shaped like pests. On Cardassia, we don't have vole-shaped food."

"Yes, you just drown everything in yamok sauce."

"Which you like."

"Because you kept feeding it to me! All the way back in DS9! I had to develop a taste for the stuff in self-defense. Oh here," Julian added, briefly stopping in front of a quaint-looking cart. "Have a giant turkey leg. It's not shaped like a rodent."

"Seems messy." Garak sniffed, eyeing the sticky-looking meat.

"Just eat it dear." The doctor groaned.

\---

"Julian, what is _that_?!"

"Oh, that's Pooh Bear. Do you want a holo with him?"

"Poo-bear? My dear, I thought 'poo' was…"

"POOH, Garak, Pooh. P-O-O-H. He's a teddy bear."

"Then why is he yellow? Kukalaka is brown."

"They come in different colours."

"I see he takes sartorial advice from the angry duck. None of them wear pants." Garak added in a mock-scandalized tone.

"Perhaps they just need a better tailor?" Julian teased.

Elim rolled his eyes.

\---

Garak sighed. They'd just ridden flying elephants, spinning teacups, and gone looking for a missing orange fish. Now Julian was dragging him off to yet another ride.

"This one's a favorite." the doctor had declared. Garak's face soured considerably. He loved Julian, but the boy had such terrible tastes sometimes, even by Federation standards.

"Pirates of the Carribean" the sign, topped with a grinning skull, had declared.

"You put _children_  in a ride that glorifies _criminals_?!" this time Cardassian really was scandalized.

"Criminals…? Oh, right, pirates. Well, they're not _real_  pirates. It's more of the idea of swashbuckling adventure, exploring the seas, finding treasure, that sort of thing."

"More human naivety and misplaced romanticism" Garak sighed as he got on the little boat. With any luck the ride would break down and they'd get off early.

"They say some of the skeletons are real." Julian commented as the ride began.

"Doctor, truly you humans are depraved. Putting your dead on display in a ride about _criminals._  Has your species no shame?"

\---

"Why are we buying all these souveneirs? Can't you just replicate them back at the hotel?"

"Garak, the point of souveneirs is to get them while you're here."

"Might I remind you how small our apartment back home is?"

"They're not all for us. Some of them are for Molly and Yoshi when we visit the O'Briens, and almost all the rest are for my colleagues in the hospital. Aren't you getting your coworkers any?"

"Oh please, nobody will want your silly human trinkets."

"Are you sure? You should at least get your aide something. And maybe Parmak."

"Parmak works with you. Isn't he already covered by your 'colleagues in the hospital' category?"

"But he's your friend too."

"Fine, get him one of those hats with mouse ears from me, and pick out some candy for the people in my department."

\---

Julian threw himself into the mattress. He was beyond tired, he had eaten nothing of nutritional value, and his feet were throbbing. Still, he felt taking Garak to Disney World had been worth it.

"My entire body aches" Garak groused as he also collapsed into the bed. "You owe me a month of massages. I'm too old to go carousing in amusement parks up to such late hours."

"We would have gotten back much earlier if you didn't insist on so many holos with the princesses!"

"As much as I don't approve of the idea of holding up members of imaginary monarchy as examples for children to emulate, I did find their gowns charming."

"Garak, you're no longer a tailor." Julian laughed.

"They appeal to my sense of aesthetics. Besides, I still make clothes for you."

"You're not putting me in a gown!"

"That's not how inspiration works, dear." Garak sniffed.

"Are you sure you didn't like anything at all?"

"Well, I did like that Mulan lady. She did her duty to her family and her state, and with a side of deception too. Very Cardassian."

"See, it wasn't so bad."

"My dear, that one good thing doesn't make up for all the other things you subjected me to."

"Well, let me make it up to you then." Julian said, rolling over to plant a kiss on Garak's nose. "Lie down on your stomach, I'll give you a back rub."

"It's a start" the Cardassian sighed as turned, the doctor climbing up to straddle his buttocks.

"Elim," Julian slowly bent down and whispered into his ear, "we're going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter tomorrow." Bashir immediately found himself on the his back as Garak quickly turned over and started hitting him with a pillow.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys a month after their vacation.

Julian came home from the hospital to find a surprise. Hanging in his side of the closet was a suit that was awfully reminiscent of a Disney Princess gown.

"Elim what is this??"

"Remember when you asked me to make you that ridiculous teddy bear ears beanie?"

"Ah, well, yes… but Garak that was only because Parmak was getting such great reactions from the children when he wore the mouse ears hat while treating them."

"Mmhmm, but you also wear the hat here at home, where there are _no_  children to treat."

"Um, it's to keep Kukalaka company?" the doctor sheepishly answered. Garak rolled his eyes.

"Well my dear, I'm now reminding you that in exchange for that ridiculous hat, you promised you'd wear my next creation without complaints. This is what I want you to wear."

"Er, o-kay… any particular reason?"

"We're going out to dinner. The initial sales figures from my Mulan rewrite have come in, and it's looking very, very good. I feel like celebrating."

"My dear plain-and-simple Elim" said Julian with a smile as he planted a kiss on Garak's lips. "Do your talents have no end?"


End file.
